Are Relationships Worth It?

Are Relationships Worth It? Here’s What No One Tells You…

Let’s be honest for a moment.

One of the most searched questions on Google is “Are relationships worth it?”
And if you’re here reading this, I want you to know…there’s nothing wrong with you for wondering.

Because behind that question, there’s usually a much deeper one hiding:
Am I safe to love again? Is it worth the risk? Is it worth me?

I’ve asked those questions myself.
More than once.
And as a hypnotherapist, breathwork facilitator and transformational mindset coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of women who’ve also sat with this same emotional weight, unsure if a relationship is something that will lift them up… or break them open all over again.

So let’s talk about it, shall we?

Why So Many Women Ask: Are Relationships Even Worth It Anymore?

If you've been through the wringer, emotionally, mentally, spiritually…it makes complete sense that you're cautious.


Maybe you’ve experienced betrayal.
Maybe you've felt unseen, unheard, or misunderstood.


Or maybe you've just outgrown the version of yourself who tolerated breadcrumbs, and now you’re not willing to settle for anything less than soul-aligned love.

Whatever your journey looks like, you're not alone.

The reason this question gets searched so often is because the world is full of noise.
Social media shows us "perfect" couples.
Dating culture seems to celebrate detachment.
And healing journeys? They teach us to love ourselves so deeply that sometimes we wonder if we even need another person.

So if you’re wondering whether relationships are worth it, you’re probably also wondering:

  • Can I be in a relationship without losing myself?

  • Will it slow down my healing… or support it?

  • Is love even real anymore—or just something movies sell us?

And here’s the truth that most people won’t tell you...

Relationships Aren’t the Prize. You Are.

I know, that might sound a little counterintuitive coming from a coach who helps women reconnect with their power.
But hear me out.

Relationships are not your reward.
They’re not the finish line.
They’re not the thing that completes you.

They’re a mirror.
They show you where your wounds still ache.
They reflect your growth, your boundaries, your softness, your strength.

And when you do the inner work….the real, deep, subconscious kind of work that doesn’t just patch over pain but actually reprograms your beliefs and identity… that’s when your relationship with yourself becomes so solid, that any connection outside of you has to rise to match that level.

That’s where the magic begins.

What Makes a Relationship Worth It?

In my opinion? The answer is this:

A relationship is only worth it if it adds to the peace you’ve already created inside yourself.

So no, love isn’t supposed to feel like a warzone.
It’s not meant to be hard just for the sake of proving its value.
You don’t need to suffer to earn it.

You deserve a relationship that:

  • Honors your nervous system, not hijacks it

  • Feels like expansion, not contraction

  • Supports your healing, not triggers your past

  • Feels safe, spacious, and genuine

This is where hypnotherapy is such a powerful tool, because when we work with the subconscious mind, we’re not just trying to think differently about love, we’re actually shifting the deep programming that tells us what we’re worthy of.

And when those inner beliefs change, everything else begins to follow.
That’s why I don’t teach “surface-level mindset tricks.”
I take my clients into the deep work.
Without rehashing the trauma. Without reliving the pain.
Just true transformation at a subconscious level.

But What If You’re Still Healing?

Here’s the beautiful part… you don’t have to wait to be “healed enough” to love or be loved.
What matters most is awareness.
You being conscious of your needs, boundaries, and emotional truth is far more powerful than trying to be “perfect.”

You’re allowed to want connection.
You’re allowed to protect your peace.
You’re allowed to desire deep love without giving up your independence.

In fact, the most nourishing relationships are built from interdependence, not codependence.

So... Are Relationships Worth It?

Yes. But only the right kind.
The kind that meets you where you are, not where you used to be.
The kind that sees your power, not your potential.
The kind that honors your growth, not your gaps.

If a relationship pulls you further away from your truth, your peace, your alignment, it’s not worth it.
But if it elevates your life, deepens your sense of self, and supports your vision of the future… that kind of love is priceless.

Final Thoughts From Me, Caroline

I’ve walked this path.
I’ve questioned everything.
I’ve rebuilt myself from the inside out.
And what I know to be true is this:

The relationship that matters most is the one you have with yourself.
From there, everything else becomes clear.

So before you ask “Are relationships worth it?”
Ask yourself: What kind of relationship am I truly available for now?
Then watch how the universe rises to meet you there.

And if you’re ready to release old beliefs, rewire your subconscious patterns, and open your heart (safely, consciously, powerfully)…
I’ve got tools that can help you do just that.

Your next chapter doesn’t have to look like your last.

With love,
Caroline

Why Feeling Secure in Yourself is the Ultimate Power Move in Love and Business

Why Feeling Secure in Yourself is the Ultimate Power Move in Love and Business

Let’s get real for a second.

When I say “secure,” I’m not talking about locking yourself in a fortress with a moat and a dragon.

No, I mean that deep, calm, unshakeable feeling inside that says, “I’ve got this…no matter what.” Whether it’s your relationships or your business, being secure in yourself is like showing up with your own personal superpower.

Secure Attachment.

So, what does it really mean to be secure?

Being secure means you don’t constantly second-guess your worth or wait around for someone else to validate you.

It means you’re not living in fear of rejection or failure (yes, even in business!). It’s the quiet confidence that you’re enough exactly as you are, and the freedom to say “no” when something doesn’t serve you…without guilt or drama.

Why is this such a big deal?

Because most women I work with come in carrying baggage like self-doubt, “Am I good enough?” syndrome, or that sneaky little voice telling them they should hustle harder, be more likeable, or prove themselves again. Sound familiar?

These blocks don’t just live in your head; they show up in how you relate to partners, clients, and yourself.

They keep you stuck in patterns of anxiety, people-pleasing, or undervaluing your gifts in love and business alike.

Real talk — I’ve been there too

I know what it’s like to crave love but freeze at the thought of being vulnerable.

I’ve felt that gut-wrenching panic in a client meeting, thinking, Do they really see me?

And I’ve watched amazing women who felt “not enough” step into their power and rewrite their stories completely.

These women didn’t find security by changing their circumstances or working harder, they found it by changing their nervous systems and reconnecting with who they really are underneath the noise.

Here’s the science-y but cool part:

When you cultivate security in yourself, you actually rewire your brain.

Your nervous system stops seeing the world as a constant threat. Instead, it relaxes, opens, and attracts more of what you want — whether that’s a loving partner who matches your vibe or clients who value your unique brilliance.

Your energy shifts from “needy” or “please notice me” to magnetic and authentic. This isn’t woo-woo; it’s neuroscience meeting mindset — and it works.

How can you start building that secure identity today?

  • Regulate your nervous system. Simple breathing exercises, gentle movement, or grounding techniques help calm that fight-or-flight response. When your body feels safe, your mind follows.

  • Challenge your inner critic. Notice when that voice whispers “not good enough” and speak back with kindness and truth.

  • Set fierce boundaries. Saying “no” is self-care. You don’t have to explain or apologise.

  • Celebrate your wins. Big or small, give yourself credit for showing up and doing the work.

  • Surround yourself with support. Community, coaching, or even a good hypnotherapy session can fast-track your transformation.

Ready to feel secure in love and business…..for real?

That’s exactly why I created my SECURE 6-month programme a powerful blend of nervous system regulation, subconscious reprogramming, and identity work. It’s designed for women ready to stop talking about change and start being change. No reliving the past, no magic wands….just real, lasting transformation.

Curious? Check it out…

Because honestly? Feeling secure in yourself isn’t just a power move, it’s the only move worth making.



The F*ck Yes Life: It’s Not About Perfect Circumstances, It’s About Choosing YOU

The F*ck Yes Life: It’s Not About Perfect Circumstances, It’s About Choosing YOU

Let’s get one thing straight right now:

The Fck Yes Life* isn’t some perfect, Instagram-filtered fantasy you stumble upon when your world is flawless, your relationships are healed, and your to-do list is wiped clean.

It’s not about waiting for the “right time,” the “right mood,” or the “right energy.”

Nope.

The F*ck Yes Life is a decision.

A daily, sometimes hard, always fierce choice.

A commitment to how you show up, no matter what’s swirling around you…no matter how messy, painful, or uncertain things feel.

I’ve made that choice.

And sometimes, it’s been in my darkest moments.

I remember it like it was yesterday sitting in a hospital room during my dad’s final days.

The air was thick with grief, silence heavy with the weight of impending loss. My heart shattered and at the same time, something inside me anchored.

I chose unconditional love.

I chose to feel the memories, the laughter, the warmth we shared, not the despair. Because I knew, deep down, he’d want that. (Bill always lived fully — #livelifelikeBill)

Did I still feel pain? Hell yes.

But pain and choice can coexist.

I chose how to experience that pain.

That moment changed me.

Because it reminded me we can’t control what happens outside of us, but we can control how we meet it.

We can regulate our nervous systems.
We can root deep in ourselves.
We can rise, even when the world feels like it’s crumbling.

That’s not just me talking.

There’s a line from The Choice by Edith Eva Eger a Holocaust survivor who lost everything but found something no one could take away:

“We don’t know where we’re going, we don’t know what’s going to happen, but no one can take away from you what you put in your own mind.”

That hit me like a lightning bolt.

No matter how brutal life gets your inner world is yours.

Yours to protect, nurture, and reclaim.

So here’s the truth you need to hear:

You don’t have to wait for your business to explode with success.


Success is inevitable when you decide to embody it right now.

You don’t have to wait for the “right” partner, for your inner child to “heal,” or for the universe to give you a green light.

You can wake up and choose who you’re going to be today.

Identity comes first.

But most women?

They don’t do this.

They hope for good moods.
They hope today won’t trigger their past.
They hope motivation will magically appear.
They hope something outside themselves will give them permission to feel joy.

Here’s the reality:

You don’t need permission.

You need embodiment.

You need tools to regulate your nervous system.


You need the inner power to say, “F*ck yes, I get to feel joy today. Even now. Even here.”

And that’s why I created:

The F*ck Yes Frequency

A 21-day voice note journey designed to help you stop waiting and start choosing.

Daily audios to regulate, activate, and embody the powerful woman you already are.

No fluff.
No overwhelm.

Start before you feel ready. Only £33

Because that’s when the real magic happens.

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong Partners (And How to Break the Cycle)

Ever found yourself in a relationship thinking,

How did I end up here again? Maybe you swore you'd never date another emotionally unavailable partner, yet here you are, waiting for them to call, hoping they'll finally choose you.

It’s not a coincidence. It’s a pattern. And until you recognise it, you’ll keep attracting the same kind of relationship, just in a different body.

I know because I’ve been there.

Not long ago, an ex reached out to me after a long time of not speaking.

We weren’t on bad terms, but there wasn’t much reason for us to stay in touch. So, why now? Turns out, he needed a favour.

Three years ago, I would have jumped at the chance to help. I would have wanted to fix it for him, to prove my worth, to be needed. But this time? It was an instant no.

Not out of spite, but because my boundaries are strong. I deserve more. And, if I’m being honest, that’s probably why he reached out in the first place, because he remembered the old version of me.

But I’m not that woman anymore.

Relationship healing, neville goddard, manifesting an SP

And when I’ve been on dates recently, I’ve noticed something incredible: I’m not even drawn to the same type anymore. The ones I used to chase? I don’t feel that magnetic pull toward them. Because when you do the deep inner work, your patterns change. And when your patterns change, your love life changes.

Let’s talk about why this happens and how you can break the cycle for good.

How Attachment Styles Shape Your Love Life

You don’t just randomly choose your partners. Your subconscious does that for you.

Your attachment style formed in childhood plays a huge role in who you’re attracted to.

If love felt unpredictable or inconsistent growing up, your nervous system craves the same dynamic as an adult, even if it’s toxic.

  • Anxious attachment? You may find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, mistaking the anxiety they create for chemistry.

  • Avoidant attachment? You might push away the ones who actually want to love you, fearing they’ll get too close.

  • Secure attachment? You choose people who show up for you, communicate openly, and make love feel safe.

The good news? Your attachment style isn’t a life sentence. It can change when you do the work.

The Subconscious Patterns Keeping You Stuck

Ever wonder why you know someone isn’t right for you but still feel an irresistible pull toward them?

It’s because familiarity = safety to your brain, even when that familiarity is unhealthy.

Three years ago, I would have felt flattered that my ex needed me. I would have taken it as a sign that I was important to him. Now? I see it for what it is: a pattern I’ve outgrown.

So, if you’re stuck in a cycle of unhealthy relationships, ask yourself:

  • Do I feel drawn to people who make me prove my worth?

  • Do I confuse emotional highs and lows with passion?

  • Do I attract partners who need fixing instead of those who are ready for love?

Recognising these patterns is the first step to breaking them.

The ONE Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s the breakthrough moment: You’re not unlucky in love—you’re just running a subconscious program that needs updating.

When I started doing the deep work…healing old wounds, calming my nervous system, setting boundaries, and redefining my self-worth—I stopped being attracted to the wrong people.

It wasn’t willpower. It was a shift in my core beliefs about love.

And when your energy changes? The people you attract change too.

How to Start Attracting Healthier Relationships Today

  1. Get honest about your patterns. Look back at your past relationships. What’s the common theme?

  2. Rewire your beliefs about love. If deep down you believe love has to be earned, you’ll keep attracting people who make you work for it.

  3. Strengthen your boundaries. The version of me who instantly said “no” to my ex? She’s a result of self-work.

  4. Listen to your body, not just your emotions. If someone makes you feel anxious, confused, or like you need to prove yourself, it’s a sign—not a spark.

  5. Choose differently. When you feel that familiar pull toward the same type of person, pause. Ask yourself, Is this healthy—or just familiar?

Final Thoughts:

Relationship healing, neville goddard, manifesting an SP

The version of you that used to settle? She’s gone.

The version of you that chased, proved, and over-gave? She’s a past chapter.

You are now stepping into the era of choosing better. Love that feels easy. Love that feels safe. Love that feels right.

And if you’re ready to break free from the cycle for good, let’s talk.

Let’s work together and let’s start rewriting your love story.

Because when you BECOME THE ONE you don’t just attract love—you attract the right love.



Love Bombing...who's to blame?

We Could Blame Them… But When We’re Empowered, We Do This Instead

It’s easy to point the finger.

To call them a narcissist.
To label them a manipulator.
To swear you’ll never let someone love bomb you again.

And I get it.

When someone comes on strong, showers you with attention, makes you feel like you’ve finally found the one, only to pull away once you’re hooked, it can feel like a betrayal.

But here’s the harsh truth that might sting a little: The real power lies in looking inward, not just blaming them.

Love bombing, in all its intensity and quick escalation, can feel like the ultimate validation.

The fast affection, the grand gestures, the “I can’t live without you” declarations, these things can leave you feeling seen, wanted, and cherished in a way you crave. But the deeper issue isn’t them—it’s how we’ve learned to interpret love and worth.

The Shift: Empowerment Starts with You

When you’re truly empowered, you stop making the love bomber your problem, and instead, you start asking yourself: Why was I so drawn to this in the first place?

Because the truth is:

  • Love bombing only works when fast affection feels like proof of your worth.

  • Love bombing only traps you when you mistake intensity for security.

  • Love bombing only hurts when deep down, you’re still craving validation more than real connection.

When you constantly seek validation from others, that over-the-top affection feels like your chance to finally “be enough.” You may think to yourself, Finally, someone sees me the way I’ve always wanted to be seen.

But the problem is, that’s not real love—it’s emotional manipulation, no matter how sweet it might seem in the moment.

Why We Fall for Love Bombing

We fall for love bombing because, on some level, we feel unworthy unless someone is giving us all the attention.

We mistake fast affection for love and become attached to the highs of someone else’s approval. But here’s the catch: We’re giving them the power to define our worth.

But what if we could break that cycle?

What if you didn’t need someone to shower you with praise or affection to feel good about yourself?

The key is inner work.

When you do the inner work to truly heal and step into your power, you stop seeing love bombing as a compliment, and instead, you start recognising it for what it is…a red flag.

The Power of Self-Worth: How to Break the Cycle

When you’re solid in your self-worth, something magical happens:

✨ Over-the-top attention from someone will no longer feel like love—it will feel like a red flag.
✨ Slow, steady, genuine connection won’t feel boring—it will feel safe.
✨ You won’t need someone to “choose” you quickly, because you already choose yourself.

When you stop depending on someone else’s affection to validate you, your relationships become healthier, more balanced, and infinitely more fulfilling.

You no longer crave someone to complete you because you know that you are already whole.

When you truly believe in your value, you stop falling for the drama of quick, intense relationships.

You’ll recognise that lasting love doesn’t come from fast, overwhelming gestures, it’s built through mutual respect, trust, and shared growth.

This Is What We Do in "Becoming the One"

This is exactly what we focus on in my program Becoming the One….shifting from external validation to internal power. It’s about healing the parts of yourself that make you susceptible to emotional manipulation and learning how to trust your own worth above all else.

When you shift your perspective and stop chasing the highs of love bombing, you’ll attract a kind of love that’s grounded, nurturing, and deep. You won’t need to be swept off your feet because you’ll already feel stable and confident on your own two feet.

Ready to stop chasing validation and start building a relationship that honours your worth?

Work with me for “BECOMING THE ONE”







If the Bare Minimum Feels Like Love, It’s Because Your Subconscious is Still Impressed by Breadcrumbs

If you've ever found yourself settling for the bare minimum in a relationship, feeling like the occasional text or half-hearted effort is enough to sustain your connection, you're not alone.

Many people unknowingly tolerate relationship dynamics that don’t serve their highest good….often because their subconscious has been conditioned to accept breadcrumbs as love.

This pattern is rooted deeply in relationship anxiety and low self-esteem, where past experiences or emotional wounds have shaped your understanding of what "love" should look like.

In this blog, we’ll explore why the bare minimum might feel like love, how relationship anxiety and self-esteem issues play a role, and what you can do to break free from this cycle to experience healthy, fulfilling relationships.

What Does the Bare Minimum in Love Look Like?

When you’re stuck in a cycle of seeking out relationships that provide only the bare minimum, you might think that love is supposed to feel hard to get or that it requires constant effort to keep the connection alive. The bare minimum can look like:

  • Inconsistent communication: They text you only when it’s convenient, or their messages are brief and vague.

  • Empty promises: They tell you what they’ll do, but never actually follow through.

  • Lack of effort: They put in just enough to keep you hanging on, but not enough to show real commitment.

While at first, these actions might seem like love, they’re often signs of emotional unavailability. They might give you small doses of attention, affection, or affection in a way that leaves you feeling confused but still hopeful.

Why Does the Bare Minimum Feel Like Love?

The real reason the bare minimum feels like love is because your subconscious mind has been conditioned to believe that this is all you deserve. If you've had experiences in the past…whether in childhood, past relationships, or even societal influences….where love and attention were sporadic or inconsistent, your subconscious mind begins to normalise this behaviour.

Relationship anxiety can play a massive role in this.

If you fear abandonment, rejection, or emotional intimacy, your mind may hold onto what little affection or attention you get, even if it’s insufficient.

This anxiety can cause you to overlook red flags or justify unhealthy behaviors. If you've grown used to waiting for crumbs of attention, your subconscious associates these breadcrumbs with love…because it's the only version of love you've known.

The Link Between Relationship Anxiety and Self-Esteem

When you struggle with low self-esteem, it’s easy to fall into the trap of accepting anything less than the love you deserve. Your self-worth becomes tied to external validation…meaning the more crumbs you receive, the more you feel validated. But this is a toxic cycle that perpetuates anxiety.

  1. Fear of Rejection: When you’re emotionally invested in someone who offers little in return, your subconscious worries that if you ask for more or demand consistency, they’ll pull away. This fear of rejection keeps you stuck in the cycle of waiting for breadcrumbs instead of demanding the love you truly deserve.

  2. People-Pleasing and Overcompensating: If your sense of self-worth is low, you might feel the need to constantly please or prove yourself to others. This overcompensation shows up as over-giving, over-explaining, or constantly trying to "fix" the relationship to make it work, despite the fact that the other person isn't putting in the effort.

  3. Unconscious Acceptance of Low Standards: Your self-esteem tells you that this is all you can get. You may not believe you deserve more than sporadic affection, and so you settle for the crumbs, not realizing that healthy love is consistent and reciprocal.

How to Break Free From the Cycle of Breadcrumbs

Breaking free from the cycle of settling for the bare minimum in love starts with reclaiming your self-worth. You deserve so much more than just the scraps. Here’s how to start making the shift:

  1. Recognise the Patterns: The first step is acknowledging that you are settling for less. Reflect on your past relationships and identify patterns of inconsistency. Ask yourself if you’ve been accepting emotional unavailability and why you might have allowed it.

  2. Build Your Self-Esteem: Start reconnecting with your sense of worth. When you value yourself, you won’t tolerate behavior that doesn’t align with your standards. Practice self-love daily and challenge the beliefs that tell you you’re not worthy of more.

  3. Set Healthy Boundaries: Boundaries are a key part of healthy relationships. Once you start valuing yourself, you’ll find it easier to say no to situations that leave you feeling drained or emotionally unfulfilled. Setting boundaries allows you to protect your energy and build relationships that are nurturing, not draining.

  4. Understand Your Relationship Anxiety: If you struggle with relationship anxiety, consider seeking professional help to heal the root causes of this fear. Working with a therapist or coach can help you unpack past experiences and emotional wounds, giving you the tools to navigate relationships in a healthier way.

  5. Demand More From Your Relationships: You have the power to demand love that’s consistent, fulfilling, and whole. If someone truly cares for you, they will show up for you consistently, and you won’t have to chase them for attention or affection. Start expecting more, and don’t settle for less.

Conclusion: You Deserve More Than Breadcrumbs

If the bare minimum feels like love, it’s a sign that your subconscious is still holding on to the idea that you’re not worthy of real, consistent love. But that’s not the truth. You are worthy of the whole meal—a love that’s present, nurturing, and secure.

Start reprogramming your subconscious to accept only the love that treats you with the respect, care, and consistency you deserve. When you focus on healing your self-esteem and addressing relationship anxiety, you can break free from the cycle of crumbs and finally step into the love you’ve always dreamed of.

If you’re ready to reclaim your worth and stop settling for the bare minimum in your relationships, check out the Becoming the One program.

This powerful, 10-session journey is designed to help you heal deep-rooted patterns, boost your self-esteem, and build the foundation for healthy, fulfilling relationships. It’s time to stop accepting breadcrumbs. You deserve the whole meal.

5 Reasons Anxiety is Running the Show Right Now (and How to Take Back Control)

Anxiety can feel like it’s always lurking in the background, ready to take over when things get overwhelming.

We’ve all been there—feeling like we’re doing our best, yet still feeling frazzled and stressed. But here’s the thing: anxiety is often running the show in ways we don’t even realise.

So, why does it feel like anxiety is in control?

Let’s take a deep dive into the common reasons and explore how you can regain control over your life, your mind, and your peace of mind.

1. You’re Doing Too Much with No Real "Downtime"

We live in a world where “hustling” is glorified, and the pressure to do more can be constant. Between work, family obligations, social media, and the never-ending to-do lists, it can feel like you’re always moving. But here's the reality check: scrolling through your phone or watching mindless TV isn't real downtime.

Real downtime is when you fully disconnect from your daily obligations and let your mind and body rest. If you aren’t allowing yourself this kind of break, your nervous system stays in “go-mode,” and this constant state of stimulation can leave you feeling more anxious than rested. Without true relaxation, your brain doesn’t get a chance to process the stress you’ve accumulated throughout the day. That means it piles up, contributing to feelings of anxiety.

The Solution:
Try carving out time each day for real downtime – even if it’s just 15-30 minutes. Engage in activities that truly rejuvenate you, like reading, taking a walk in nature, meditating, or simply sitting quietly without the distraction of screens. These moments of rest help reset your system and manage anxiety in a healthy way.

2. Your Stress Bucket is Full

We all have what’s known as a “stress bucket.” It’s a metaphor for the mental, emotional, and physical stress we experience.

Every time something stressful happens—whether it’s a deadline at work, an argument with a loved one, or feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities—your stress bucket fills up a little bit more.

When you don't empty the stress bucket regularly, it starts to overflow, and that’s when anxiety shows up. What often happens is that we go about our daily lives thinking we’re managing just fine.

However, when that bucket is full, it only takes one small thing to tip us over the edge. Anxiety becomes the loudest voice, often triggered by something that might seem small but is actually the last drop in an already full bucket.

The Solution:
Make time for stress relief every day, whether it’s a few minutes of deep breathing, exercising, journaling, or talking to a friend. Make sure sleep is a priority…REM sleep is one of the ways we empty that stress bucket.

It’s important to regularly check in with yourself, notice how full your stress bucket is, and take steps to keep it from overflowing. The small acts of self-care can make a huge difference in managing your anxiety.

3. You’re Not Living by Your Values

We all have values that guide us in life. Whether it’s a love for nature, the importance of helping others, or the need for creativity, our values define who we are. But here’s the kicker—when your day-to-day life isn’t aligned with these values, it can create a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction that contributes to anxiety.

For example, if one of your core values is nature and you’ve spent all week indoors, working on your computer and having little interaction with others, it’s no wonder you’re feeling drained. That misalignment between your daily reality and what truly feeds your soul can make you feel out of balance.

The Solution:
Take a moment to reflect on your values. Are you living in alignment with them? If not, make conscious changes to introduce more of what matters to you into your routine. For instance, if helping others is a core value, dedicate time each week to volunteer or offer support. If nature is important to you, schedule regular walks outside. Living in alignment with your values can reduce feelings of anxiety and restore a sense of purpose.

4. Your Brain is Programmed for the "Worst-Case Scenario"

Did you know we have approximately 80,000 thoughts every single day? What’s even more interesting (and a bit frustrating) is that around 70,000 of those thoughts are recycled from the day before. And guess what most of them are? Worries about things going wrong.

Our brains are wired to focus on the worst-case scenario—this is an evolutionary trait designed to keep us safe. However, this constant focus on potential danger, failure, or disappointment can create an ongoing loop of anxiety. The result? Your brain starts to habitually fixate on negative outcomes instead of opportunities, and you end up feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

The Solution:
Start being more aware of your thought patterns. When you notice yourself spiralling into worst-case scenarios, pause and ask yourself, "Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?"

Use on of my techniques from 9 Tools and techniques to help reduce anxiety.

Redirect your thoughts to something positive or grounding, like deep breathing or a mindful activity. Reprogramming your brain takes time, but it’s possible—and you can begin by simply shifting your focus from fear to possibility.

5. You’re Not Giving Yourself Enough Grace

The truth is, many of us have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Whether it's striving for perfection at work or trying to meet everyone’s needs, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to be “on” all the time. Unfortunately, this leaves little room for mistakes, rest, or simply being human—and that’s a setup for anxiety.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to creating anxiety. If you expect yourself to always be perfect and never make mistakes, you set yourself up for a constant cycle of stress and disappointment.

The Solution:
Start giving yourself the grace you deserve. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Allow yourself to make mistakes, rest when needed, and celebrate your progress, not just your achievements. Embrace imperfection, and you’ll feel more at ease and less anxious.

Time to Take Back Control

Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. By recognizing these common triggers and taking small steps toward healing and balance, you can reclaim your peace of mind. It’s about making space for rest, living in alignment with your values, breaking the cycle of negative thinking, and, most importantly, giving yourself the grace to simply be.

You don’t have to face anxiety alone—start making these shifts today, and if you need support, I’m here to help. Whether it’s through coaching or mindset work, we can break free from the patterns that feed anxiety and create a life of inner peace.

Ready to feel more grounded and less anxious? Download my FREE PDF 9 tools and techniques to help reduce anxiety.

#Anxiety #MentalHealth #MindsetMatters #InnerPeace #StressManagement #PersonalGrowth #Values #SelfCare

Why You Keep Seeking Validation in Relationships (And How to Stop)

Why You Keep Seeking Validation in Relationships

Have you ever felt like you need reassurance in your relationships to feel secure?

Maybe you overanalyse texts, feel uneasy when someone pulls away slightly, or find yourself constantly wondering, Am I enough?

You’re not alone.

But here’s the truth…this pattern isn’t about the other person.

It’s about something deeper: your relationship with yourself.

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much love, attention, or reassurance you get, it still doesn’t feel like enough—this is for you.

Why We Crave Validation in Relationships

Seeking validation isn’t a personal flaw, it’s a learned survival mechanism.

Somewhere along the way, you might have picked up the belief that your worth is dependent on how others see you.

Maybe…
💭 You grew up needing to “earn” love through achievements, people-pleasing, or being “good.”
💭 You’ve been in relationships where you felt unseen, unappreciated, or abandoned.
💭 Your self-worth has been shaped by rejection, heartbreak, or past trauma.

Whatever the reason, the result is the same: you look outside of yourself for the security that can only come from within.

And the frustrating part?

No amount of validation ever feels like enough. Even when someone reassures you, the doubts creep back in—because the real shift has to happen inside you.

Breaking the “Not Enough” Cycle

When you tie your self-worth to someone else’s attention, actions, or words, you enter a cycle that looks like this:

1️⃣ You feel anxious or uncertain in a relationship.
2️⃣ You seek validation—through reassurance, people-pleasing, overgiving, or even overanalysing small interactions.
3️⃣ You feel better… for a little while.
4️⃣ The doubts creep back in, and the cycle repeats.

So how do you break free?

You start by training your mind to feel enough, without needing constant reassurance.

How to Start Rewiring Your Mind for Self-Worth

If you’re used to seeking validation from others, shifting to internal validation won’t happen overnight….but you can start retraining your mind today.

Here are 3 simple but powerful ways to break free from the cycle:

1️⃣ Reframe the Story in Your Head

Your brain is wired to fill in the gaps. If you don’t hear back from someone for a few hours, your first thought might be:
💭 They’re losing interest.
💭 I must have said something wrong.
💭 Maybe they don’t like me as much as I like them.

But that’s just ONE possible explanation. Instead, challenge yourself to write down 10 alternative reasons why they haven’t responded.

They’re busy with work.
Their phone is on silent.
They’re taking time for themselves.
They fell asleep watching Netflix.
They’re just not a fast texter.

The more you do this, the more your brain learns to STOP defaulting to self-doubt and fear.

2️⃣ Shift Your Focus Back to YOU

When you’re caught in a cycle of seeking validation, your energy is focused outward—on what someone else is doing, thinking, or feeling.

The antidote? Turn the focus inward.

🌟 Instead of obsessing over their actions, ask yourself:

  • What do I need today to feel good?

  • How can I show up for myself right now?

  • What makes ME feel happy, grounded, or secure?

Every time you shift your attention back to your own needs, you train your brain to find security within you—not from someone else.

3️⃣ Start Celebrating Yourself—Every Single Day

When you constantly look for external validation, it’s often because you’re not giving yourself enough credit.

Here’s a simple way to start building self-worth from within:

📖 Create a “Self-Celebration” List 📖
At the end of each day, write down 3 things you’re proud of….BIG or small.

💡 “I spoke up for myself today.”
💡 “I stayed present instead of overthinking.”
💡 “I did something kind for myself.”

The more you acknowledge your own worth, the less you’ll feel the need to seek validation from others.

Ready to Speed Up the Process?

Rewiring your self-worth doesn’t have to take months or years.

That’s exactly why I created Enough As You Are: The 7-Day Challenge, to help you fast-track this transformation.

💬 A week of powerful daily mindset shifts & self-worth challenges.
🎥 A live workshop to break free from the patterns keeping you stuck.
🤝 A private WhatsApp group for support, connection, and accountability.

📅 Starts Monday, March 3rd | Live Workshop Tuesday, March 4th
💰 Only £19

🔗 Join the Challenge Now

It’s time to stop waiting for someone else to make you feel enough.

You already are. Now, let’s help you believe it. 💖


How to Tell If Self-Doubt Is Stopping Your Business Growth

If you’ve ever felt like a fraud in your own business, take a deep breath—you’re not alone.

Self-doubt is one of the biggest silent saboteurs for entrepreneurs, and it has a sneaky way of showing up, no matter how accomplished you are.

You might find yourself second-guessing every decision, holding back from taking big leaps, or feeling like you need “just one more qualification” before you can truly own your expertise.

Sound familiar? These feelings often stem from subconscious beliefs that whisper, You’re not enough, no matter how much you achieve. And here’s the kicker: they can significantly block your business growth.

How Self-Doubt Holds You Back

Self-doubt doesn’t just impact how you feel; it shapes how you show up.

When you’re stuck in a loop of second-guessing, it can lead to:

  • Overworking and burnout: You push harder and harder, trying to prove yourself, yet feel like you’re spinning your wheels.

  • Paralysis in decision-making: The fear of making the “wrong” choice stops you from making bold moves.

  • Undercharging for your services: You question your value, so you price yourself lower than you deserve.

  • Avoiding visibility: You hold back from showing up fully, whether that’s through public speaking, social media, or pitching your services.

All of this creates a cycle that not only erodes your confidence but also limits your potential to scale your business.

What’s Really Going On?

The truth is, self-doubt is rarely about what’s happening on the surface. At its core, it’s driven by subconscious programming—those deeply rooted beliefs that form over years of conditioning.

Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of judgment, or an ingrained belief that success has to be hard, these subconscious blocks silently shape your actions (or lack of them).

But here’s the good news: once you identify and shift those limiting beliefs, the ripple effect is transformative.

Imagine This...

How would it feel to stop second-guessing yourself? To wake up each day operating from a place of certainty and confidence? To make decisions with clarity and conviction, trusting that you do know what you’re doing?

Imagine what your business could look like if you let go of the subconscious blocks holding you back. You’d not only feel more empowered, but scaling your business would become easier because you’d approach challenges with a solution-focused mindset instead of being stuck in self-doubt.

Now, picture stepping into 2025 with that kind of confidence.

What would be possible for you? How would your business grow? And more importantly, how would you feel?

The Shift Starts Here

If you’re ready to uncover and release the self-doubt that’s been holding you back, I invite you to join "From Burnout to Boss"a transformational journey to help you go from spinning your wheels to scaling with clarity and confidence.

In this program, you’ll learn how to:

  • Recognise the root causes of your self-doubt.

  • Reprogram those limiting subconscious beliefs.

  • Step into your role as a confident leader and business owner.

You’ll walk away feeling not only empowered but also aligned with the version of yourself that takes bold, aligned action to grow your business.

Let 2025 be the year you finally leave self-doubt behind and operate from the certainty that you’ve got this.

Ready to make that shift? Sign up here for From Burnout to Boss. Your breakthrough is waiting. 🌟




Why Heartbreak Was One of the Best Things That Happened to Me

Have you ever gone through a breakup so painful it felt like your entire world was crumbling?

I’ve been there.

Someone recently referred to my experience with an ex as “just a blip in my life.” But I immediately said, “NO, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me!”

Sound surprising? It’s true.

That heartbreak became the catalyst for my healing and transformation. If you’re struggling to heal from a breakup, let me share how that painful moment helped me rebuild my self-worth, break toxic patterns, and create a life I love.

Heartbreak as a Catalyst for Growth

At the time, it didn’t feel like a blessing. It felt like the end of everything I knew. But here’s the truth about heartbreak: it tears down what isn’t working to make space for something better.

Healing from that relationship forced me to look inward and make changes I never would have made otherwise. It wasn’t just about getting over someone—it was about becoming the best version of myself.

What I Learned From Healing a Broken Heart

🔥 I Found My Self-Worth
Before my breakup, I based my self-worth on how others treated me. Through the healing process, I realised that my value wasn’t tied to someone else’s approval—I had to see it within myself first.

🔥 I Broke My Repeating Patterns
Heartbreak has a way of exposing the cycles we’re stuck in. For me, it was people-pleasing, over-giving, and ignoring red flags. Once I recognised these patterns, I could finally break free from them.

🔥 I Learned the Power of Boundaries
For the first time, I understood how crucial boundaries are, not just in relationships, but in every part of life. Setting boundaries taught me how to protect my energy and prioritise my needs.

🔥 I Stopped Outsourcing My Happiness
I used to believe my happiness depended on my relationship status or external circumstances. Healing taught me that true happiness comes from within.

🔥 I Took Responsibility for My Healing
No one else could “fix” me. I had to do the work—regulating my nervous system, processing my emotions, and deciding who I wanted to be moving forward.

Healing From a Breakup Isn’t Easy—But It’s Worth It

If you’re wondering how to heal from a relationship, here’s the hard truth: there’s no shortcut.

Healing is messy, uncomfortable, and often feels like two steps forward, one step back. But it’s also the most rewarding work you’ll ever do.

Every tear, every moment of doubt, and every painful memory is an opportunity to grow stronger. Heartbreak doesn’t have to define you—it can refine you.

The Bigger Picture: Pain as a Teacher

Healing from heartbreak didn’t just change my relationships; it changed my entire life. When I lost my Dad, an even deeper pain…I realised how precious and short life is.

I stopped waiting for happiness to find me and started creating it myself.

That’s the thing about pain. It’s not just something to survive; it’s something to learn from. Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or failure, each experience holds a lesson. It’s up to us to uncover it.

How to Start Healing From a Breakup

If you’re in the middle of heartbreak right now, here are a few steps to start your healing journey:

1️⃣ Feel Your Feelings – Don’t suppress or ignore your emotions. Allow yourself to grieve, cry, and process what you’re going through.

2️⃣ Identify Your Patterns – Reflect on your past relationships and identify any patterns that might be holding you back. Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle.

3️⃣ Set Boundaries – Start prioritizing your needs by setting and enforcing boundaries in all areas of your life.

4️⃣ Focus on Self-Love – Invest in yourself. Practice self-care, pursue hobbies, and spend time doing things that bring you joy.

5️⃣ Seek Support – Healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Consider working with a coach or therapist to guide you through the process.

The Gift of Heartbreak

Heartbreak isn’t just a painful chapter, it’s an opportunity for transformation.

That breakup I once thought would destroy me turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It taught me how to heal, grow, and create a life that feels true to who I am.

If you’re ready to turn your pain into power, remember this: healing takes time, but every step you take brings you closer to the person you’re meant to be.

How Our Thoughts Shape Anxiety and Depression: Breaking Free Without Reliving the Pain

Have you ever stopped to think about the sheer power of your thoughts?

Every day, the conversations we have in our minds shape not only how we feel but also how our brains function. Anxiety and depression are deeply tied to our thought patterns, and more and more evidence is emerging to show that these conditions are not as simple as a “chemical imbalance.”

For decades, the idea that mental health issues were purely due to neurotransmitter levels has dominated the conversation. While brain chemistry is a factor, the scientific community is increasingly recognising that our life experiences, belief systems, and the way we interpret the world around us play a massive role.

And the best part? That means there’s hope.

Your Thoughts, Your Brain Chemistry

Every thought you have creates a ripple effect in your brain. Think of it like this: when you have a thought, your brain releases chemicals that align with the emotion tied to it.

Positive, empowering thoughts can stimulate the release of serotonin and dopamine—the feel-good chemicals. But negative, fear-based thoughts trigger cortisol, a stress hormone that can keep you stuck in a cycle of anxiety or low mood.

Over time, patterns of negative thinking don’t just affect your emotions, they shape your brain. This is called neuroplasticity: the brain’s ability to rewire itself.

If repeated enough, thought patterns become hardwired, like grooves on a well-trodden path.

Why Reliving Trauma Isn’t the Answer

Here’s where things get really exciting. Traditional approaches often focus on revisiting painful memories, but what if you didn’t have to go back and relive those difficult experiences to feel better? That’s where hypnotherapy and timeline therapy come in.

Rather than digging into the past, these approaches help you rewrite the subconscious patterns that hold you back—without reliving the pain.

  • Hypnotherapy works by accessing the subconscious mind, where 90% of our behaviors, beliefs, and emotions are programmed. It helps you uncover limiting beliefs that keep you stuck and replace them with empowering ones.

  • Timeline therapy allows you to resolve emotional wounds by working with your mind’s natural ability to organise memories. You’re guided to revisit and reframe key events from a detached, safe perspective. The result? Relief from old triggers without the emotional overwhelm.

Science Backs the Mind’s Power to Heal

Recent studies highlight the effectiveness of approaches like hypnotherapy. For example, research published in journals like American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis shows that hypnotherapy can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression significantly.

Even more fascinating, your brain doesn’t know the difference between something vividly imagined and something real.

This is why hypnosis works so well, it allows you to reprogram your subconscious as if the change has already occurred.

Why Your Thoughts Are Your Superpower

What makes hypnotherapy and timeline therapy so transformative is that they empower you to shift your focus. Instead of fighting against the negative thoughts, you learn to reframe them, gently guiding your subconscious to create new, positive patterns.

And here’s the beauty of it: your subconscious mind doesn’t argue. It takes in the new narrative and starts making it your reality.

Moving Forward: No More Outdated Narratives

You don’t have to live in the shadow of anxiety or depression. While the chemical imbalance theory dominated the mental health conversation for years, the truth is far more empowering. Your mind has the power to heal.

Through hypnotherapy and timeline therapy, you can step into a new narrative—one where you feel at peace, empowered, and fully in control of your thoughts and emotions.

The change starts with a single thought. Why not make it a powerful one?

Placing Your Entire Sense of Safety and Self-Worth in Someone Else Is Never Sustainable

Have you ever found yourself looking to someone else to make you feel secure, loved, or complete? It’s a pattern many of us fall into without even realising it.

But the hard truth is this: Placing your entire sense of safety and self-worth in another person is never sustainable.

Here’s why:

1. The Weight of Being Someone’s “Everything”

When you expect someone else to be your everything, it creates an imbalance in the relationship. One person carries the emotional burden of being your anchor, your cheerleader, and your source of validation—all at once. No matter how much they care, it’s a weight too heavy for anyone to bear.

Relationships built on this kind of dependency often struggle.

They become suffocating, draining, and full of resentment. Why? Because no one person can meet all your needs.

2. The Danger of Codependency

Codependency is a loop where one person’s self-worth hinges on the other’s approval, attention, or presence.

It feels like love, but it’s often rooted in fear—fear of being alone, fear of rejection, or fear of not being “enough.”

When you give someone else the power to determine your happiness, you lose your own. And ironically, the very thing you’re afraid of—losing the relationship—becomes more likely, because codependency suffocates growth.

3. Avoiding Yourself vs. Reclaiming Yourself

Here’s the truth: placing your self-worth in someone else isn’t about them—it’s about you. Often, it’s a way of avoiding the relationship you have with yourself.

If you’re constantly looking outward for love, safety, or validation, it’s time to ask:

  • Where am I abandoning myself?

  • What parts of me am I avoiding or suppressing?

  • Why do I believe someone else’s love will fix what I feel is missing?

Healing starts when you’re willing to face these questions head-on and begin reconnecting with yourself.

4. The Power of Choosing, Not Needing

The healthiest relationships aren’t about need; they’re about choice. They’re built on mutual respect, shared values, and a deep sense of individuality. When you no longer rely on someone else to complete you, you create space for a partnership that enhances your life rather than defining it.

You’ll find that relationships flourish when both people feel free to be themselves, rather than trapped in a cycle of dependency.

5. Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Power

If this resonates with you, know that change is possible. Start here:
💥 Prioritise yourself: Get to know your own needs and meet them first.
💥 Let go of control: Let others make their own choices, and trust that you’ll handle whatever comes next.
💥 Build self-worth: Validate yourself instead of seeking constant approval from others.

The Journey to Becoming Whole

Your sense of safety, self-worth, and happiness can only come from within. When you place these things in someone else’s hands, you lose the opportunity to truly know yourself.

But here’s the good news: you can take that power back.

Are you ready to stop looking outward and start reconnecting with yourself? My program, Becoming the One,” is designed to help you rediscover your worth, heal old patterns, and create the kind of love you truly deserve—starting with YOU.

Let’s rewrite your story together. 💖

Why They Don’t Seem to Want You

In today’s fast-paced world, feelings of rejection in relationships can be particularly painful.

You may find yourself wondering, “Why don’t they seem to want me?” This question often leads to self-doubt and confusion, but it’s essential to understand the deeper dynamics at play.

1. Understanding Connection vs. Attraction

First, it’s crucial to differentiate between connection and attraction.

Just because someone may be attracted to you doesn’t mean they are ready for a deeper relationship. Various factors influence their willingness to engage, such as personal issues, past traumas, or fear of vulnerability. Are you actually being upfront and honest with what you WANT? This is especially relevant if you’ve experienced patterns of unrequited affection or found yourself drawn to partners who seem emotionally unavailable.

2. Self-Reflection: Are You Being Your Authentic Self?

Often, we attract relationships that mirror our internal state.

If you are struggling with self-worth, you may unconsciously draw partners who reflect those beliefs. Are you putting on a facade to gain approval? If you feel you must "perform" to be liked, it can hinder genuine connection. Self-reflection and inner work—like those found in breakthrough breathwork or hypnotherapy, can help you discover your authentic self and attract the right kind of love.

3. Recognising Patterns of Rejection

Understanding your emotional patterns can shed light on why you might feel unwanted.

Have you experienced abandonment or neglect in past relationships? These emotional wounds can create a cycle where you attract partners who reinforce those fears. Acknowledging these patterns is the first step toward breaking free and cultivating healthier connections.

4. Are Relationships Supposed to Be Hard?

It’s a common misconception that relationships should be hard work.

While every relationship requires effort and compromise, they shouldn’t feel like a constant struggle. If you find yourself consistently fighting for your partner's affection, it may be time to reassess the relationship’s dynamics.

5. Can Relationships Be Fixed?

The good news is that relationships can be fixed—provided both partners are willing to engage in open communication and mutual growth. Seeking guidance through coaching, therapy, “Concious connected couple’s Breathwork” or support groups can help both individuals navigate their feelings and improve the relationship’s health.

In summary, feelings of rejection can stem from various internal and external factors. By investing time in self-reflection and emotional healing, you’ll be better equipped to attract the right partners who appreciate you for who you truly are.

If you’re tired of feeling unwanted or caught in unhealthy relationship patterns, it’s time to take action. Join my “Become the One, Relationship Reset program, where we’ll dive deep into understanding your beliefs and emotional patterns. Together, we’ll work on healing past wounds and reprogramming your mind to attract the love you truly deserve.

🔑 What You’ll Gain:

  • Clarity on what you truly want in a relationship

  • Techniques to break free from limiting beliefs and patterns

  • Tools to cultivate self-love and confidence

  • Ongoing support to help you stay aligned with your desires

Don’t wait any longer to step into the love you’ve always dreamed of! Click the link to learn more about the program and start your journey to becoming the one. 🌟💖

Why You Always Think the Worst Will Happen in Relationships

You’ve met someone amazing. They’re kind, thoughtful, and everything you’ve ever wanted... yet you’re already bracing yourself for the heartbreak. Sound familiar?

Relationships can be fixed

It’s as if no matter how good things seem, there’s that little voice in your head whispering, “This won’t last. Something is bound to go wrong.”

You’re not alone in feeling this way. So many people, especially those who have experienced difficult or toxic relationships, carry this anxiety into every new relationship.

But here’s the truth: this fear isn’t about your current partner or the relationship. It’s about the subconscious patterns you’ve learned over time.

In this blog, we’ll explore why you always expect the worst in relationships and how you can start breaking this exhausting cycle.

Understanding Why You Expect the Worst

It’s easy to blame external factors for our relationship fears, but the real reason often lies much deeper, within our subconscious mind.

If you’ve been through abandonment, betrayal, or trauma in past relationships (especially as a child - even if it was just perceived abandonment), your subconscious has learned to expect pain, even when things are going well. It’s like you’ve trained yourself to be on guard, anticipating the next emotional blow before it even happens.

This might have worked as a coping mechanism in the past to protect you, but it’s now creating anxiety and insecurity in your current relationships.

You might not even realise it, but your brain is stuck in a survival mode where safety feels temporary, and happiness is something you’re waiting to lose.

Here are a few common reasons you might always think the worst will happen:

  1. Past trauma or emotional wounds: If you’ve been hurt before—especially in ways that felt like betrayal or abandonment—your brain tries to protect you by scanning for signs that it will happen again.

  2. Fear of abandonment: Even when things seem perfect, you may subconsciously fear being left behind. You may believe that love always fades or that people eventually leave, even if they haven’t given you any reason to think so.

  3. Low self-worth: If deep down, you don’t truly believe you’re worthy of love, you may find yourself questioning why someone would want to stay with you. This insecurity fuels your belief that something bad is bound to happen.

  4. Unresolved attachment issues: If you’ve experienced inconsistency in love during childhood or in early relationships, you may expect instability. You might fear that even the most secure relationship will become unpredictable.

The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

When you always expect the worst, it’s easy to start unintentionally sabotaging the relationship. This is how the cycle often plays out:

  • Overanalysing everything: When you’re constantly expecting something to go wrong, you might start overthinking your partner’s actions or words. A delayed text or change in tone could send you into a spiral of worry, making you question their commitment or interest.

  • Seeking constant reassurance: To feel secure, you may find yourself needing constant validation from your partner. This can create pressure on the relationship, making your partner feel like they can never do enough to make you feel safe.

  • Emotional distancing: To protect yourself from the pain you fear is coming, you may start pulling away emotionally before anything bad even happens. Ironically, this behaviour often leads to the very distance you were trying to avoid.

These patterns create a self-fulfilling prophecy where the fear of the relationship failing ends up damaging it.

Can Relationships Be Fixed?

Yes, relationships can be fixed. But the key is understanding that this work starts with you—not just with the relationship itself.

You need to heal the subconscious patterns that cause you to expect the worst. It’s not about simply “thinking positive” or ignoring the fear. That doesn’t address the root cause. Instead, it’s about reprogramming your subconscious mind so you can feel secure and trust that you’re worthy of love and stability, without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

How to Rewire Your Subconscious and Break the Cycle

Here are some powerful ways you can start shifting the way you feel in relationships and stop expecting the worst:

1. Heal Your Subconscious Beliefs

Your thoughts and emotions around relationships come from deep-seated beliefs about yourself, love, and safety. Hypnotherapy, breakthrough breathwork and mindset coaching are incredibly effective tools to help you access and shift these subconscious patterns. Instead of reliving your past trauma, hypnotherapy allows you to reprogram those outdated beliefs with new, empowering ones. Something I can help with.

You’ll move from expecting abandonment to feeling secure in the knowledge that you’re worthy of love and stability. You’ll stop believing that heartbreak is inevitable and start trusting in the possibility of long-lasting, healthy relationships.

2. Challenge Your Negative Thought Patterns

It’s important to become aware of the thoughts that fuel your fears. Next time you catch yourself thinking, “This won’t last” or “They’ll leave me eventually,” ask yourself: Is this based on fact or fear?

Often, these thoughts are projections of past experiences and have nothing to do with your current reality. Learning to recognise and challenge them is the first step to breaking the cycle.

3. Practice Self-Validation

When you always seek reassurance from your partner, it puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Instead, practice giving yourself the validation and love you crave. Remind yourself that you are enough and that you deserve a healthy, loving relationship.

When you start to believe that you’re worthy of love, you won’t need constant external validation to feel secure.

4. Stop Trying to Control the Outcome

The fear of the worst happening often comes from a desire to control the relationship’s outcome. But love isn’t about control—it’s about trust. Learning to release control and allow the relationship to evolve naturally is a key part of building a secure attachment.

Trusting yourself and your partner to handle whatever comes allows you to stay present in the relationship, without being consumed by the fear of what might go wrong.

It’s Time to Break the Cycle

If you’re tired of always expecting the worst and want to feel secure and confident in love, it’s time to do the inner work. Your past does not have to define your future. Relationships can be fixed, but first, you need to heal the relationship you have with yourself. ❤️

Let’s rewire your mind so you can finally feel safe, secure, and at peace in love. You deserve it.

Ready to Rewrite Your Relationship Story?

If you’re ready to stop waiting for things to go wrong and start trusting in love again, I can help. Through hypnotherapy, breakthrough breathwork and mindset coaching, I’ll guide you through reprogramming your subconscious so you can finally experience the security, trust, and peace you’ve been craving.

Visit my page below to learn how we can work together to create lasting, positive change in your relationships.

How to Attract a Healthy Relationship: 5 Key Steps to Finding Lasting Love

Many of us have spent years searching for the perfect partner, only to find ourselves stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns.

Whether it’s a history of toxic relationships or the struggle to find someone who truly complements us, the journey can often feel overwhelming.

But attracting a healthy relationship isn’t about luck or chance.

It’s about doing the inner work to ensure you're ready to welcome a partner who aligns with your values, respects your boundaries, and supports your personal growth.

In this blog, I’m going to guide you through the five key steps on how to attract a healthy relationship.

1. Prioritize Self-Love and Self-Respect

Before you can attract a healthy relationship, it’s essential to focus on the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself. When you truly love and respect yourself, you naturally set higher standards for how others treat you. You won’t tolerate disrespect, manipulation, or emotional unavailability, because you know your worth.

Cultivating self-love is the first step to attracting a partner who mirrors that love back to you. If you’re wondering how to attract a healthy relationship, the journey starts within.

Make self-care a priority, set firm boundaries, and celebrate your individuality.

2. Let Go of Past Relationship Baggage

Holding onto past hurts, unresolved anger, or resentment from previous relationships can block you from attracting a healthy partner.

If you find yourself constantly thinking about an ex or replaying old relationship wounds, it’s time to let go.

Releasing emotional baggage doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means you’ve processed the pain, learned the lesson, and are now ready to move forward. When you clear out emotional clutter, you create space for a healthy, fulfilling relationship to come into your life.

I often help my customers to let go of memories and patterns that have kept them stuck - sometimes for years!

How to attract a healthy relationship? Start by forgiving the past and allowing yourself to embrace the possibility of new love without the weight of old heartbreak.

3. Identify Your Non-Negotiables in a Partner

One crucial step to attracting a healthy relationship is getting crystal clear on what you need in a partner. Healthy relationships thrive when both individuals share core values, have mutual respect, and are aligned in their vision for the future.

Take the time to define your non-negotiables.

What qualities are essential to you in a relationship? Do you value honesty, emotional availability, and clear communication? By identifying these key traits, you’ll be able to better recognise potential partners who are truly compatible with you.

This is something we get clear on in our work together!

When you know what you’re looking for, you can avoid settling for less than you deserve. How to attract a healthy relationship means seeking someone whose values align with yours and who respects your boundaries.

4. Heal Your Limiting Beliefs About Love

Sometimes, the biggest barrier to attracting a healthy relationship isn’t external - it’s internal.

Many of us carry limiting beliefs about love that stem from past experiences, childhood trauma, or societal expectations. Beliefs like "I’m not worthy of love" or "Love always leads to heartbreak" can subconsciously sabotage your ability to attract a healthy, loving relationship.

If you want to know how to attract a healthy relationship, start by healing these limiting beliefs.

Hypnotherapy, coaching, and self-reflection are powerful tools that can help you uncover the subconscious programming that’s holding you back. Once you shift your mindset, you’ll be able to welcome a partner who reflects the love and respect you now believe you deserve.

5. Be Open to Vulnerability and Authentic Connection

Healthy relationships require vulnerability and authenticity.

If you’re guarded, afraid of being hurt again, or hesitant to show your true self, it’s difficult to form a genuine connection with someone. To attract a healthy relationship, you need to be willing to let your guard down and allow someone to truly see you—flaws and all.

This doesn’t mean oversharing or rushing into deep emotional intimacy. It means being open, honest, and showing up as your authentic self.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you invite a partner to do the same. Healthy relationships are built on trust, communication, and a willingness to grow together.

How to attract a healthy relationship? Practice vulnerability and embrace the idea that healthy love requires openness, not perfection.

Ready to Attract the Healthy Relationship You Deserve?

Attracting a healthy relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but by following these steps, you’re laying a strong foundation for lasting love. When you prioritize self-love, release old baggage, and embrace vulnerability, you naturally attract someone who is aligned with your values and ready to meet you at the same level of emotional maturity.

If you’re ready to take the next step and learn how to attract a healthy relationship, I invite you to join my upcoming Healthy Love Blueprint Masterclass. In this free session, we’ll dive deeper into how to heal from past relationships and create the life and love you truly desire.

5 Signs You're Ready to Heal and Attract a Healthy Relationship

After a painful relationship or breakup, it's common to feel uncertain about when you're truly ready to move on and attract a healthy relationship. Healing from past relationship trauma is a personal journey, but there are key signs that indicate you’re not only ready to heal but also ready to attract a love that supports your growth.

If you've been asking yourself, "Am I really ready to start again?" or "How do I know if I'm ready for a healthy relationship?", this blog will highlight five clear signs that show you’re on the path to healing and personal transformation.

These signs are often recognised by those seeking a relationship coach for guidance on overcoming old patterns and preparing for a fulfilling future relationship.

1. You've Recognised Your Negative Relationship Patterns

One of the first steps to healing after a relationship is becoming aware of the patterns you tend to repeat. Whether it's attracting emotionally unavailable partners, accepting less than you deserve, or finding yourself in codependent dynamics, recognising these patterns is a sign of growth.

If you've started to reflect on past relationships and see these recurring themes, you're already breaking free from negative relationship patterns. This awareness is crucial because it shows you're ready to take responsibility for your part in past relationships and make conscious changes for the future.

2. You're Prioritising Self-Love and Personal Growth

A healthy relationship starts with self-love. If you’ve been actively working on rebuilding your confidence, practicing self-care, and investing in your personal development, it’s a strong indicator that you’re ready to heal. When you prioritise yourself, you set a new standard for how others should treat you.

Many women come to a relationship coach looking for help to "attract a healthy relationship." But what they discover is that the relationship they need to focus on first is the one with themselves. Once you're in a place where your happiness and worth come from within, you're better equipped to enter a relationship that enhances your life rather than defines it.

3. You're Letting Go of Resentment and Anger from the Past

Holding onto resentment or anger from past relationships can be one of the biggest blocks to healing. If you’ve been working through your emotions and have started to release the hurt caused by an ex-partner or a toxic relationship, it’s a sign you’re emotionally moving forward.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior; it means letting go of the emotional baggage that keeps you tied to the past. By forgiving and releasing this emotional weight, you're making space for healthier, more loving experiences to come into your life.

4. You Feel Comfortable Being Alone

Another major sign you’re ready for a healthy relationship is feeling comfortable and happy on your own. You’re no longer rushing into relationships to avoid loneliness or to seek validation. Instead, you enjoy your own company, and you’ve found peace in your independence.

Being comfortable with solitude shows that you're not entering a relationship out of need or fear. Instead, you're ready to be with someone who complements your life rather than fills a void. This shift in mindset is critical for attracting a partner who respects and values you as much as you do yourself.

5. You’re Open to Vulnerability and Authentic Connection

Being open to vulnerability is essential for building a healthy relationship. If you’ve done the healing work and now feel ready to share your true self without fear of rejection or judgment, this is a powerful sign you’re ready to attract a relationship rooted in authenticity and mutual respect.

Healthy relationships require openness, honesty, and the ability to communicate your needs. If you're no longer afraid to be vulnerable and express your emotions, you’re prepared for a connection that’s built on trust and emotional intimacy—qualities that every relationship coach emphasizes when guiding women toward healthier love.

Ready to Heal and Attract the Love You Deserve?

Healing after a relationship isn’t easy, but it’s an empowering journey that brings you closer to the love and life you truly deserve.

If you’ve recognised these signs in yourself, you’re likely ready to heal and move forward into a relationship that supports your growth and happiness.

If you’re looking for guidance, I can help you navigate this journey with clarity and purpose. As a coach, I’ve helped hundreds of women break free from toxic relationship patterns, rebuild their confidence, and attract healthy, loving partnerships.

You can do the same.

Are you ready to take the next step? Join my free Healthy Love Blueprint Masterclass, starting on October 1st, where we’ll dive deeper into healing and attracting the love you deserve.

Before you date anyone new, you need to read this 👇

I’ve said it before – our brain is like an evidence-producing machine! We don’t experience life as it is; we experience life based on what we focus on most and on our beliefs and assumptions about it! And so many people are just f*cking focused on the wrong stuff! (Sorry, no point in me holding back here!) 😬

Imagine this: you're searching “How to find true love again” a few times on YouTube. The algorithm kicks in and starts showing you more and more of those types of videos. Life works the same way. So while you’re sat around talking trash about men but expecting to find a good one, it’s like baking a cake with salt but expecting it to taste sweet!

The Subconscious Saboteur

Let’s get real. I get it – your experiences and past hurts are why you’re here. But while you continue to focus on the negative, you’ll keep finding evidence of it. You won’t find the “good ones,” and if you do, you’ll find a way to see something different or sabotage it anyway. 🤷‍♀️👀

And it’s not really your fault. It’s unconscious. You probably don’t even know you’re doing it. It’s likely from past hurts and unresolved wounds. That’s why I love working with people with relationship trauma. They don’t even realise they’re going around in the same cycles again and again….but there’s huge relief when we work through it!

Recognising the Pattern

Let me ask you this – have you ever dated different people, only to find yourself in the same toxic dynamic? If you’re nodding your head, you’re not alone.

Recognising the pattern is the first step. Your subconscious mind holds onto these beliefs, making you attract the same kind of partners and situations.

Imagine you’re wearing glasses that tint everything with your past experiences.

Everything you see, feel, and experience is coloured by your previous relationships. It’s like trying to enjoy a sunset with smudged sunglasses. Not quite the same, right?

The Recipe for Change

So how do we change the recipe and bake a sweet life? First, we need to clean those glasses. Here’s how:

  1. Acknowledge Your Patterns 🧠 Take a step back and look at your relationship history. What similarities do you see? What beliefs about love and relationships are you holding onto? Write them down.

  2. Shift Your Focus 🌟 Instead of focusing on what went wrong, start focusing on what you want. Visualise and feel into the the kind of relationship you desire. Believe it’s possible and that you deserve it.

  3. Heal Your Past ❤️ This is where the magic happens. Through hypnotherapy and mindset coaching, we can address those unresolved wounds and reprogram your subconscious mind. It’s like a deep clean for your soul.

More Than Just Relationships

And it’s not just in relationships. Many of us leave money on the table because we’re so focused on the lack that we miss opportunities. We’re unhappy because we see life through the lens of “life is so hard.” And then it’s the same the next day, the day after, and the day after that. You get the picture. Until you’re ready to change.

When you’re ready, I know someone who’s just what you need. (Spoiler alert: It’s me! 🤪)

Embrace the New

Imagine waking up one day, feeling genuinely happy and optimistic about your future. Imagine attracting partners who respect and cherish you. Imagine spotting opportunities for abundance and seizing them with confidence. This isn’t a fantasy – it’s entirely possible when you change your focus and heal from within.

Take the Leap

Breaking relationship cycles isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. You deserve to experience love, joy, and abundance. You deserve to break free from the past and step into a future that excites you. If you’re ready to take that leap, I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

So, are you ready to stop baking cakes with salt? Let’s switch up the recipe and create a life that tastes as sweet as you deserve. Because life is too short to settle for anything less than bliss.

With love and a sprinkle of humor, Caroline 💖







Manifesting Love for a Specific Person: Is it Possible?

When it comes to manifesting love, the most frequent question I get asked is about attracting a specific person. It's fascinating how many people are drawn to the idea of manifesting a particular individual into their lives.

In fact, I believe that many discover the power of manifesting and the Law of Assumption and states of consciousness through this very topic!

The concept may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but once you grasp the basics, it starts to make perfect sense.

Think of different realities as various TV programs running simultaneously. You get to choose which program to watch, and similarly, you can decide which reality to experience. Whatever channel you are playing all of the other programs are still running until you choose to tune into them.

We are all connected at the source through states of consciousness, allowing us to manifest anything we desire.

Remember, you are the creator of your reality. Your identity is “I AM,” not “I CAN’T.”

And let’s talk about “Free Will” people only bring this up around this subject lets look at it this way…what happens when they are having constant arguments in their head with people or talking negatively about people and wondering why they keep behaving exactly how they “EXPECT” because those people have no choice to keep playing the role you give them. GOOD or BAD!

Think about it like this we communicate unconsciously or telepathically without realising it…so our thoughts are in fact never private therefore people have to behave how we expect them to.

And being honest most of the time the reason we get an unwanted version of others is because they are reflecting what we believe about ourself…eg not good enough etc. So changing this alone is often enough to get a different response from your specific person.

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.”
Neville Goddard

Neville Goddard, taught that everyone in your reality reflects your beliefs and assumptions. Simply put, people show up in your life exactly how you believe they will. If you think all guys are cheaters, you'll experience relationships with cheating. If you believe women can't be trusted, that's what you'll encounter. But if you believe people treat you with love and respect, that's how they'll treat you.

It’s why people go from one toxic relationship to another they think by changing the person they’ll change the outcome not realising if they’ve done nothing to change their awareness the next person will also be reflecting the same beliefs.

This highlights the importance of focusing on your beliefs about yourself. According to Neville, everything already exists in the present moment. Imagine each day is like you have a clean state and if you are struggling to let go of things from the past this is where I can help with very particular revision techniques.

The subconscious is not selective; it is impersonal and no respecter of persons. The subconscious is not concerned with the truth or falsity of your feeling. It always accepts as true that which you feel to be true. Feeling is the assent of the subconscious to the truth of that which is declared to be true. Because of this quality of the subconscious there is nothing impossible to man. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and feel as true, the subconscious can and must objectify. Your feelings create the pattern from which your world is fashioned, and a change of feeling is a change of pattern.

The subconscious never fails to express that which has been impressed upon it. Neville Goddard 

There are infinite realities with every possible version of the past, present, and future. In one reality, you might be married to your person; in another, you're single. The reality your awareness goes to most is the one you manifest.

So ask yourself right now…where is my awareness going most of the time….and we don’t even need to focus on “THE Specific Person” Just our awareness of ourselves are we focusing on the deliciousness of feeling loved, adored, safe? Or the awareness of being unwanted, single, unhappy?

It’s why you could be in a beautiful relationship but keep focusing on the fact it might go wrong, you might be left single, hurt etc this is likely to manifest.

The Power of Letting Go or Detachment.

Interestingly, many people manifest a specific person back into their lives when they "give up."

This happens because they drop the sense of lack. Every possible outcome and scenario already exists in one of the infinite realities. This includes every possible version of every person you could meet.

Out of all these infinite possibilities, you experience the reality you imagine or focus most of your attention on. You are constantly selecting and shifting between realities based on your beliefs and assumptions. These determine the reality you move into and experience, or the “state” you dwell in. So you don’t have to forget about your person or let go of the desire as such…but to manifest your specific person effectively you do have to let go of the lack and detach from what is currently going on in your external circumstances and instead dwell in the state of already having what you desire.

For example if you were in a beautiful relationship and feeling safe, secure, loved etc you wouldn’t be constantly thinking “Why haven’t they text me?” or “Who are they with?” etc.

Manifesting a specific person doesn’t work by brainwashing, manipulating, or infringing upon anyone’s free will. People aren’t puppets to be controlled or forced to do what you say. Manifesting doesn’t work like that. It is however a reflection of your state of being….

Practical Steps to Manifest Love for a Specific Person

  1. Shift Your Focus: Start by shifting your focus from the lack of your specific person to the presence of love in your life. Imagine and feel as if your desire has already manifested. (EMBODY THE STATE OF THE WISH FULFILLED)

  2. Reprogram Your Beliefs: Identify any limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. Replace them with empowering beliefs that align with the reality you want to experience. This is something I can support you with.

  3. Use Affirmations/Techniques: Affirmations and other techniques can help reprogram your subconscious mind and step into the “It’s already done” state. Use affirmations like "I am so loved, wanted and adored," "I am in a loving relationship with [specific person]," and "I am attracting love effortlessly." Just a reminder techniques are not to “Make” anything happen but to help move you into a state where you already have your desire!

  4. Visualise: Spend time each day visualising yourself with your specific person. Feel the emotions of being in that loving relationship as if it is happening right now. You can use inner conversations but most of all do this because it feels good…not to “Make” something happen. The external reality is a reflection of our internal reality which is why this is our focus.

  5. Let Go: Detach from the outcome. Embody and enjoy the feelings of already having your desire…this may be feelings of joy, bliss contentment or it may just be dropping the lack KNOWING it is already done and living your life.

    Trust that its done. When you detach from external circumstances, you release resistance and allow your desired reality to manifest.

  6. Stay in a state of LOVE: Practice gratitude for the love you already have in your life. Gratitude aligns you with the frequency of love.

YOU GET WHAT YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU WANT…so if you are in a state of frustration, sadness, hater etc this is what you’ll see reflected back.

Conclusion

Manifesting love for a specific person is entirely possible. By understanding and applying the principles of manifestation, you can attract the love you desire into your life. Remember, you are the creator of your reality. Every possible version of every person exists right now, and it’s your beliefs and assumptions that determine the reality you experience. Embrace your power, focus on what you desire, and watch as your reality transforms in beautiful ways.